The cave was, of course, cool and dark and still...only the soft hum, and attendant glow, of a bank of sophisticated computer and video monitors disturbing that eerie stillness until the doors of an elevator hummed quickly open. The man in black strode out of the elevator and walked purposefully towards his forbidding black sedan. The sun was hours gone and it was time to go back to work.
Bruce paused to look at his reflection in a full-length mirror hanging near a soft spotlight. There was, he realized once again, something both eminently forbidding and sublimely ridiculous about the costume....the skintight body suit, the flowing black cloak with its jagged edge, the sinister black cowl...but the whole ensemble played nicely into his theory of the inherent cowardice and superstition running rampant in the diseased criminal mind. He realized, once again, that wearing the costume...indeed that going out into the night risking his life in the name of "justice"...was not a completely rational thing to do.
He knew that. But he didn't care as long as he continued to show results in his drive to be the right hand of righteous justice.
Bruce's reverie was shattered by the noisy entrance of his ebullient young friend and partner. The boy's bright red, green, yellow, and black costume was topped off this night with a fuzzy red-and-white hat that sat jauntily atop his head haloing his bright smile.
"Tim," Bruce said patiently, "why are you wearing that hat?"
The boy paused at the mirror to fuss with his headgear. "It's Christmas Eve, Bruce," he replied brightly, "I though I'd spread a little holiday cheer among the thugs and other assorted riff-raff we might run into tonight!"
Bruce repressed a smile and said sternly, "We're about serious business tonight as always, Robin, I'd really prefer it if you..."
The boy ran, jumped, and turned a perfect forward somersault landing precisely where he wanted to...next to the passenger door of the great black car. "Don't be such a grinch, Batman," he said unperturbed by his partner's characteristic gruffness. "C'mon, let's roll!"
Batman fought back yet another smile and walked slowly to the driver's side of the car. He sometimes wondered why he took the boy...as capable and valuable as Timothy was...out with him on his nocturnal forays against Gotham's lowlifes. The truth was that the boy's light...his irrepressible joy for life and living...balanced his more dour outlook on things and kept him in touch with the basic goodness of most people (this being something he tended to doubt in a world like his that was populated with murderers and rapists and thieves and psychotics.) Robin, he realized, kept him from letting his formidable dark side run rampant...kept him from becoming in effect that which he himself hated most.
As Batman slid into the car, Robin began humming the theme from the TV show that had so irked him years ago. "Doo...doo...doo...doo...doo...doo...doo...Batman!" the boy sang mischievously.
Batman pointedly ignored him and engaged the Batmobile's mighty engine. Robin, still humming the song, reached into his bright red vest's inner pocket and pulled out a candy cane. He unwrapped the candy and popped it into his mouth as he settled back for the ride into town to begin.
Batman glanced over at the boy who was contentedly sucking on the red-and-white stick of candy and, not completely able to curtail a slight grin, said, "Do you have to...?"
"Do I have to what?" Robin replied disingenuously loudly slurping the candy cane in the process.
Batman shook his head and gunned the engine. The concealing doors at the far end of the Batcave raised silently and quickly and the Batmobile roared out into the Christmas Eve night heading towards the sparkling lights of Gotham City in the distance.
There was a light dusting of snow on the road leading into the city. "Looks like we're gonna have a white Christmas after all." Robin commented not expecting a reply from his friend.
The city itself was alive with bundled up citizens out and about doing their last minute shopping. Batman knew that the number of honest people out there spending money and carrying tempting packages would bring the vultures out even on a brisk Christmas Eve night. Of this he was sure.
Almost as if on cue, his thoughts were interrupted by a scream from behind them. "Stop! Thief! Stop!"
Robin spit his candy into the litterbag at his feet, his face now focused and wary. Batman wheeled the Batmobile around and roared back to where the cry had come from.
In front of a department store, a flustered woman was being helped to her feet by some passers-by as the costumed duo leapt out of their jet-black car. Batman noticed two new paths in the snow leading from where the woman had fallen down the street and around the corner into a darkened alley. A Salvation Army collection kettle stood untended just outside the doorway of the store.
The crowd of onlookers gave way for the tall man in black...a feeling of awe, coloured with more than a little apprehension, sweeping over them.
"Batman!" the woman cried. "He stole my purse! He ran into the alley!" she said pointing down the street.
Batman nodded and sprinted away, his great black cloak fanning out behind him. Robin paused long enough to say, "It's okay, ma'am, we'll get him!" He winked at her and she smiled; then he ran after Batman into the alley.
Robin, true to his rigorous training, stole cautiously into the alley, his every sense on full alert. He crouched low as he heard a voice from deep in the dark alley.
"Wh-who are you, man?" he heard a nervous voice cry out.
Robin rolled his eyes and muttered, "Jeez, everybody's a straight man..." But then he noticed Batman, standing silent and still, almost invisible in the shadows, against the far wall of the alley listening intently. to the proceedings further down the way.
Then who...? His thought was interrupted as two figures suddenly walked out of the alley. One was a boy about 16; the other was a ruddy-faced man in a Salvation Army uniform, holding a large black pocketbook in his left hand. His right arm is across the boy's slumped shoulders. Both of them drew back wide-eyed as Batman and Robin stepped out of the shadows at the edge of the alley.
The boy's eyes stayed wide with fright but the older man quickly regained his composure. "Evening, Batman," he said pleasantly. "Everything's okay here...young Robert here is quite remorseful about his actions..."
Batman said nothing. He nodded and let them pass. Down the street back in front of the store, the crowd had grown and the woman who had been mugged was standing at the front of it apprehensively.
As Batman and Robin watched from a few yards behind, the old man handed the pocketbook to Robert, who in turn walked over to the woman.
"I'm sorry, ma'am...I..."
She took the purse warily and glanced through it. "It's all here I think," she said looking up at Batman who'd come closer.
Robert, tears streaming down his eyes, looked into her eyes. "P-please, lady...y-you're not goin' to send me to jail, are you? Please...my Ma she'd..."
"I don't think he's a bad child," the old man said to Batman, "just a little misguided..."
Batman frowned coldly. "Aren't they all?"
"Lighten up, Batman," Robin said in a stage-whisper, "it's not like this kid is the Joker or anybody like that..."
All eyes turned to the grim Dark Knight. Batman turned to the woman. "No real harm done," she said somewhat daunted by his dour demeanor. "And it is Christmas after all..."
Batman nodded and turned his withering gaze on the boy. "Go," he said tersely.
The boy nodded to Batman and then to the woman and then he started walking quickly down the street. The crowd dispersed and the old man plucked his bell out of the kettle and began ringing it once more. "Merry Christmas, Batman," he said as the Caped Crusader walked slowly towards the Batmobile. "And to you too, son," he said with a smile towards Robin.
Batman nodded almost imperceptibly and disappeared into the car; Robin paused and reached into a compartment on his utility belt. He brought out a $20 bill and dropped into the old man's kettle.
Batman honked the Batmobile's horn impatiently. Robin smiled and said, "Keep the faith, old-timer!", as he sprinted for the car.
"Always, son," the old man said. "Always."
The Batmobile revved up and sped away into the night. Batman circled the block and came back around until he found Robert walking swiftly along a quiet sidewalk. He pulled up next to him and rolled down the window. Robert stopped, his eyes once more filled with apprehension and fear.
"This is your only pass, boy," Batman said evenly. "Next time you do something like that I'll be worst that your worst nightmare. Do you understand me?"
Robert nodded. "Y-yes, sir..."
Robin reached into his vest pocket and pulled out another candy cane. 'Yo, Robert!" he called out. "Catch!" He tossed the stick of candy past Batman out the window and into Robert's startled hands. "In the meantime," he said as he unwrapped another candy cane for himself, "have a good Christmas, dude!"
"Th-thanks!" Robert replied with a nervous but grateful smile.
Batman rolled up the window and drove away.
"You had to get the last word in with that kid, didn't you?" Robin said glancing out the window as the snow began to fall once again.
"I didn't get the last word in this time, did I?"
Robin shrugged. "Why give the kid bad dreams on Christmas Eve?"
Forbes Magazine has come out with their annual list of the richest fictional characters (you'd think they had better things to do with their time...but hey it's fun) and this year the list is led by the grouchy and stingy billionaire Uncle Scrooge McDuck (see above) with an estimated net worth of $28.8 billion dollars (from mining and treasure hunting) .
Ming the Merciless ($20.9 billion from technology, slavery, and domination of the planet Mongo)
Richie Rich ($16.1 billion; trust fund baby)
Mom ($15.7 billion; owner of MomCorp, the future's biggest conglomerate)
Jed Clampett ($11 billion; oil man/Beverly Hillbilly)
C. Montgomery Burns ($8.4 billion; ruthless energy tycoon)
Carter Pewterschmidt ($7.2 billion; steel baron/media tycoon)
Bruce Wayne ($7 billion; heir/owner of Wayne Enterprises/caped crusader)
Thurston Howell III ($6.3 billion/owner of Howell Enterprises/castaway)
Tony Stark ($6 billion/defense and technology contractor/armored Avenger)
